The Jump

I stand at the edge of the cliffs.

Water gushes and collides with the rocks beneath.

The wind lingers in my hair as the cold bites.

I shiver, but not because of the temperature or the height.

Your jacket hangs over my shoulders, your smell barely there anymore.



I think back about the nights;

When I wore your shirt to bed under my own over-sized shirt just so I could be as close as I could possibly get to you.

Every tiny detail of that garment, I have memorized and engraved in my mind.

Yet I know I would not be able to put it into words if I was asked to describe it.



A gust of wind gnaws at my feet once more.

Wait for it, hun. We're just about there.



Where our feet leave the ground.

Kaboom

I guess this is it. The time where everything comes together.



Bang.


Crash.


All hell breaks loose.

It's funny if you really think about it. Now it's as if we're both competing to see who hurts the other more. Oh yes, it's great fun. What's that? Me, cry? No, I've shed enough tears for a quarter of a year. In fact, I haven't had such fun since I was in form 1. It's like that incident happening all over again except this time, I can still see and speak with you. True, not as often as I'd like, but there's definitely moments where we spend hours with each other. It's just like losing the same yet different thing all over again. Yeah that's it, same yet totally different. No, I would not like a tissue. I'd rather just let it all out now. But hey, who am I to cry? It's just like you said, yeah going off to cry again. Well, maybe I don't want to cry anymore. I'm tired really. And I know about the mistakes I've made, trust me I really do. As to why I'm not showing any remorse, it has something to do with a thing called pride. I would miss you, yeah I would. But what good would that do? What good has that done? As for the mistakes I've committed and am about to, the pain I've inflicted and am about to, I would apologize a thousand, no a million gazillion times even. But I should know by now it wouldn't matter much anyways.

I would have missed you more if it made a difference.
I would have apologized more if it made I could get the words out of my mouth.
I would have bought you things if I had the money to.
I would have stop using all your stuff if I were a more considerate person.

I'm sorry I'm not that person. This is who I am, who I've turned out to be. And I thank you for all that you've done so far for me. All the huge stuff down to the tiniest details, I'd never be able to make a wholesome list without missing anything out. I'm not perfect after all. And for that, I'm sorry.

For now, I'm done wetting my cheeks. They deserve some sunshine, regardless of what my stupidity has led me to have done. Pardon me if you will. I'll keep missing you. I'd just like to be left alone for a bit.

But I know I need the company.

You're bluffing

Lies
Tell me do you lie
Nobody likes hearing them
Yet when somebody tells them
Everybody believes them
I have a question
Do you like lying
Because when I lie
I just feel like burying myself
With my pillows
And cry like there's no tomorrow
Some lies however
they're told to protect others
To protect them from the truth
As the truth can be horrifying
But most lies
They hurt
Not only the listeners
And believers of lies
But also the liars
There's a saying
Once you lie
You have to tell another
To cover up the lie before
And that's when
You get caught up
In a vicious cycle
Full of telling lies
And hurting others




"You're bluffing!"
"I only speak the truth."

Here goes

Am finally done with my papers.
Hung out with Dalbina the moniter best friend and Joyce the bestest bestest bestest bestest bestest friend and others too.
Off to RYLA camp tomorrow morning!
Will be back on Sunday.
Wonder if I'll actually get myself a towel to wrap myself with and roll in.
Hmmmm... :D

Activity #2

Same thing as the last time.
What you see, and first thing that pops into your mind.
Comment box please!


Mine :
I've been around for so long now,
have you seen me?

Some say I'm paranormal,
So I just bend their spoon.

Smiles - Lots of them

I can't wait.
Until I finish the last of my papers.
I'll buy myself a nice big towel.
I'll wrap myself in it.
And then...





I'm gonna roll on the floor while I laugh my guts out.
:D

My thoughts you can't decode.

The kiddo

Another year has gone.
You're grown & changed.
For the better of course.

Here's to you,
the kid who's been a younger sibling of different blood for 2 and a half years and 2 days;
the kid who's hurt me and I've hurt in return;
the kid who's treated me differently from every other person on every other day in every other time;
the kid who would move mountains for me and me for her;
the kid who taught me things I never knew;
the kid who doesn't mind how horrible a person I am, academically or personality-wise;
the kid who has never given me a proper hug;
the kid who was a little sister I always wanted.


Our time really is running out. Thank you for all that you've done for me, the things that I was aware of and in the dark about. It's been one hell of a ride these past 2 and a half years and God knows how much we've been through. Continue shining as you are doing now, because you're doing some really awesome work with all you have. I apologize for my mood swings, sudden outbreaks, pointless tantrums and the random things I say. If I've hurt you before or in the future, I hope you know I didn't/don't mean to do so. You smile more often now, keep it up! It's important to flex the muscles.
Happy 16th Wen Li.

Take care of yourself now, you know how to reach me if you need me. (:

Here's a song we both know.
This is to you.

You Do - by Until June

Mouths are moving
People talking slowly
In my ears
Another year goes

You stood up gently
Turned around
To face me staring back
"I'll see you sometime soon"
If only I could see the way you do

The midnight air it blows
Between my fingertips
So cold
As I walk back inside

It's hard for me to understand
How you could die for me
When I fall short sometimes
If only I could see the way you do.

If only I could see the way
And if only I could see the way you do

Love,
Sara

Fun with the best guyfriend.

Introducing...

Oops!! sorry, wrong image.
Here's the real Jack.
=D

Jack, my guy bestie! :D
Jackson Kang Yi Ting.
Baby boy of his family.
Has a pet dog named Patty.
The Taiwan Bad Boy.
Speaks broken Mandarin.
Is very much into :
Sweden;
a band named Opeth;
a certain Green Beanstalk.
Note to Jack : See?? I made the image small so that you don't get too embarrassed.

Was talking to Jack on the phone just now till the call got disconnected all of a sudden.
Apparently his phone "died", meaning his battery went flat.
So we switched to im-ing.
Here's what he drew for me on Msn.

"cinocinocinocinocinocino!"

"My phone died la!"

He's a really good listener, and he's funny as hell.
Thanks for being my bestie, bestie.
And I'm sorry if I grab your phone or your mp3 player from you sometimes.
Don't stop being my bestie when I leave for KL and you, Singapore.


The following are 2 photos of Jack with others.

Taken at the Mad Hatter's Ball :
Jourdan, Melanie, me and Jack.

Taken at Clara and Kim's 20th Birthday Bash held at Teddy's :
Von in red, Melvin with the tooth necklace, Jack with the stuck-out lips, Jourdy in stripes, me with the hairband and Gilbert with the black button down shirt.

In the corner beside my window,
Hangs a lonely photograph.

Half life

The nephew
Little Max Ryan Gordon Tay playing with the cubes at Roost.



In the midst of battling with my worst enemy yet, SPM.
Got murdered by History and suffered some injuries from BM.
All else was bearable.
How I miss being a kid...

Turn the lights off,
Carry me home.

One evening

Autumn came.
The sidewalks were vacant, there was no sign of life anywhere around.
Even the little lilies in the garden stood silently, as if waiting for something to happen.
The entire place was in unison of one color.
I picked up the pen in front of me, and shouted my thoughts onto the paper on my desk.
Soon, the sky started losing its shine as night took over.
The moon hung its head low, with nothing but stars for company.
My faithful lamp continued to provide me with light as my silent shouts went on.
The window on my left was no longer a box of orange objects, it was blue and black.
I finished with my ramblings and turned off my lamp.
Into my bed I crept, my sanctuary, my rest place.
Until the next time morning took over.

181008 - Wit Lyn's 17th Birthday Bash

Okay people!
Sorry for the long wait.
Finally got my hands on the pictures.
So here are the pictures from Wit Lyn's party that I promised.
:D

Leg people :
(from left)Mercy, Adeline, Julia, Serah, me

Enjoying the fan :
Serah with the cup, Melanie with her palm, me looking to the right, Julia with the keyboard shirt, Mercy looking real bored, and Adeline right behind her.

The birthday girl and her presents
(I can see Qiang in this picture!! :D)

The girly girls :
Harveena, Cecilia, me, Mercy, Joyce

Group photo before the party :

(standing)Adeline, Julia, Wit Lyn, me, Melanie
(sitting)Mercy, Serah

Us girls.

you should know everybody by now

A few of the girls came over to my place first before heading to Wit Lyn's house that day.
Everyone arrived late so we took our time to get there.
Pictures are on facebook posted by Mercy.

Had a great time at the party!
Wit Lyn had so many people come for her party, relatives and friends alike.
Met some really interesting new people as well.
Like Han Qiang's best friend who called me 'jiejie' when he asked me something cause he didn't know my name and his brother who was this monotone funny man.
Stayed over at her place after the party, karaoke-d till about 1am, watched Russell Peters till about 3am, where we all proceeded to the living room to watch Qiang and the guys play GTA4 without audio sounds. Slept at 5.30am.
Woke up at 9am while Wit Lyn and Mercy slept some more, and curled up into a ball on the floor and dozed a bit more.
When they both woke up, went downstairs and listened to Yi Sheng the monotone dude play 'Hands of Blood' aka 'I Don't Flirt' by his little brother.
Went home at 11.30am.

Ricky; my latest _____

Hello. Meet my latest basketball crush.

Ricky Rubio(left).
Spanish professional basketball player.
Spanish national basketball player.
He turned 18 on the 21st of October(last Tuesday).
Height : 1.92m
Position : Point Guard





Yum yum.
Youngest player to ever play in the Spanish ACB League.
Cute Spanish basketball player dude.
I like.
:D

Say goodnight and go.

The whos of me

Who am I?
I've been thinking and trying to come up with an answer to this question I've been asking myself since forever.
And everything I come up with will vary by every second.
At other times, I can't even conjure up a satisfactory answer to the question above.


Yes, I come from a family of 5.
Yes, I never met my grandfather because he was gone even before I came into the world.
Yes, I have had good friends who're now just friends, and just friends who're now good friends.
Yes, I'm a Catholic.
Yes, I play many different instruments even though I don't learn most of them.
Yes, I can sing both in a choir and on my own.
Yes, I've always loved having pet dogs.
Yes, I love reading.
Yes, I'm crazy about vampires, Ed Westwick, Patrick Dempsey and all the other awesome stuff I love in this world.
Yes, I'm not in science stream but in accounts' and people have called me stupid.


I mean, so what? Doesn't mean I'm in accounts' stream it goes to show that I'm not a bright individual. We all fight our own battles. I'm fighting one with my studies, a fierce one at that. And don't think I'm not trying now, because of that front I put up all the time. I'm studying, but it's just not going into my head. You're probably thinking I'm not studying the right way, have it your way then. I'm trying, so there.


Coming back to the topic, who am I??? I'm going to associate this 'who am i' business with the past, present and future. Because if I were to ask myself today who I am, it'll be the present. But at the same time, it'd be tomorrow's past and I'll be who I am in the future anyhow. Who am I, who was I and who will I be?


Now here's a random thought, am I the only one wondering about this complicating question? No, don't answer that.


As time ticks by, I realize I'm running out of time in secondary school, one of the many chapters of life I'm to go through. Boy, how time flies. Before you know it, a girl from the class next door will be married and will have kids(yes she's getting married next year), a few of us will have moved away and many others out into the world. Dang I feel old. Ah well, shan't talk about the leaving part now.


Here's a question;
Who will you be?


p/s : Will blog about the party Wit Lyn threw on the night of 18th soon. Is it me or has streamyx slowed down?




Till next time,
Shut them windows to keep the chills out.

A letter to my dear crazy big fat mama

Dear mama,

It's been 3 years since you've gone. Even longer since I called you my 'crazy big fat mama' while you watched your tv in your room. I used to watch you play cards, where you taught me to count to 10/20/30 faster than my other friends when I was younger. You even got into a fight with Papa because of me once. We would have your birthday dinner at that Jumbo Restaurant every year because you knew the 'kapitan'. You always annoyed me with your silly exclaimations by saying things like 'Kencing kencing kencing!!' louder by each word just as you were about to go to the toilet. You never failed to make us feel guilty whenever we refused you of the sweet sweets we would eat in front of you by giving us a really sad look and telling us 'Later mama die then you know!".

I remember lending you my marching gloves before I left your bedside for school that very day you left cause you would feel cold so easily by then. Your hands were so very cold. You couldn't speak properly but we could tell what you wanted or needed even though you had to stay in bed the whole time towards the end. I remember something within me told me to bid you goodbye before I went off for school. It was almost noon. I got on my bus, and I couldn't peel my eyes off your window as the bus pulled away.

By the time I spotted Yvonne in the middle of my BM class, I didn't really feel like anything was right. I was standing because I hadn't completed my BM homework. I spotted Yvonne with her red cheeks and teary eyes and immediately started packing my bag. After speaking to the teacher I rushed down with her to the car park and into Papa's car.

As we turned into the road we lived at, I could see the cars of my relatives all parked along the road. I sped out of the car, skipped up the flight of staircase and went into the crowded room where you laid. For a moment I thought it was a false alarm, you looked as though you were merely asleep. After all, no one had mentioned anything to me about you leaving yet. Still, it would only make sense that you were already gone otherwise it wouldn't be a necessity for everyone to be here. I walked past tear-stained faces and listened to the pointless sobs of my mum and her siblings.

Reaching out, I touched your hand. The very hand that fed me rice into my nose when I was younger because you were too engrossed in the tv programme you were watching, the very hand that I was so fascinated by everytime I pulled on your skin and it would stretch and move back into position ever so slowly, the very same cold hand that I borrowed my gloves to that same morning.

It was different from this morning. Cold, yes, but more like frozen now. I didn't cry. I couldn't bring myself to. Because all I knew was that you were frozen in time.


But if you weren't, you'd be 90 as of today.
So, here's your birthday wish from me.
Happy 90th Birthday, Mama.
Don't ever forget to think of all of us who're missing you.

Falling down

I'm sure everyone has fallen down sometime throughout their whole life.
Be it a physical or a mental fall, we've somehow gone through or seen others fall.
It hurts mostly, and yes we do get scarred from time to time.
We could become immune to the pain, or we could build up enough callus to minimize the damage the next time we fall.
The rest of the time however, we prefer to take some time off just by crying out, kicking the air with our legs in frustration, or even brooding over it silently without others knowing.
Just be sure to pick yourself up when you do fall, unless you're quite sure you won't be able to do it alone then get someone you can always rely on.
Because you never know how you can cause another person to trip and fall by sitting on the ground for too long.



I slipped and fell in my toilet yesterday.
Hit the back of my head against the sink pretty bad.
Every now and then it pounds as I feel the blood rushing.
I wonder if I have a concussion or a tumour or a blood clot or some sort.
Terrific, I'm turning sadistic.
Bah.

I'm sorry I couldn't make it to the library yesterday Jack.
Had to go see my maid off at Senai and then attended a meeting in church.
Hope you studied with Jourdy and got a good look at the place.

Woke up today and got run down by a train of thoughts.

Why is it that I see things out of these two sockets I have for eyes?
Someday, I'll be living my own life, at my very own place.
Who will I be?
Am I really going to be happy?
Some things never change.
Leave if you wish, only stay if you really want to.
Pick one, the right one, and stick to it.
My English teacher hates me.
I may be fat and ugly on the outside, but we're all pretty on the inside.
Everyone won't be around all the time.

Sometime, someday, somewhere, somehow, things will and are about to happen.

I got lied to again.
It's one of the worst feelings one can feel.
But I fall for it every time.
Stupid dumb lies.
I wonder if I should do something.
Because honestly, I'm tired of this.

Choir Farewell 081008 - Check

From left and clockwise : Mrs Doreen and her mic, Suba, Tracy, Natalie,Si Wei, Clarissa, Mercy, Adeline, Calista, Erma, Kelly, Pierina, Sharlene, Agnes, Eunice, Beverley, Sarah and me neither standing nor squatting.


Thanks so much for all the memories.
Special thanks to the board and everyone who made an effort for the choir performances/events/practices this year.
I'll miss dreading the practices, thinking of what songs to sing for the week, auditioning the juniors, snapping my fingers to keep time, conducting the choir, making funny faces at you girls so that you all smile, lashing out at you girls for no reason, laughing at some of you cause sometimes you girls have really funny expressions/actions, having board meetings, eating free dominoes pizzas, glaring at my basses(basi people), playing warm-up, planning those choir events, the long long long talks from Mrs Doreen(XD), wearing the school baju kurung/choir shirt/selempang/musical costumes and everything else I have forgotten to mention here.
I miss the seniors a whole lot, and I'm pretty sure I'm gonna miss being a senior too. Pardon me if I have been harsh and may have hurt any of your feelings.

Kimberly, Ellena, Chiara and Jia Hui
Don't let peer pressure or comments get you down, instead make it a point to prove them critics wrong and that you guys can and will do a better job than your seniors.

Every single choir girl
Don't hesitate to bond, interact, exchange comments, make reasonable suggestions or ask questions.
Keep singing and remember :
*mimics Mrs Doreen's voice and the way she stares at us with her head lowered and eyes wide open*
"In everything you do, do your best."

Good luck kiddies.

Activity

Okay here's what I'm gonna need you guys to do.
I've decided to run a little test.
I would like you guys to tell me what the image below makes you think of.
Eg. For the times we felt so alone.
You can put it in the comment section at the end of this post.
Simple right?
Thanks and off you go then!

Anyways, here's mine :
For the times when we stood out.

No worries, it's just around the corner.

In words

I'll let you guys in on a tiny bit of my world.
That is, the life I lead in this world we share.
These, are my confessions.



I'd rather watch and observe rather than do the real thing.
In truth, I'm frightened of hurting myself or putting myself to shame. I figured that if I watch others go through the things I am about to do, perhaps I might learn something out of it and do better than them when it comes to my turn.


I have very strong opinions but I don't really sound them out in public.
As I have mentioned before in previous posts, I'm a analyst. I love to think and wonder about everything and anything. And most of the times, I come up with an opinion only I know of because I don't tell everyone what I think about all the time. It's like everyone around me is watching Astro when it's raining outside. They get cut off cause they don't get the signals(my thoughts) from my head. I could go around and speak less than 50 words a day, but I never have good days when I have a headache or worse, migrain. Why? Because I just can't think straight due to the pain.


I like being honest because I hate lies and liars.
Yet very often I have hurt many others whilst practising this particular habit of mine. Just recently I came clean with a friend, and I'm pretty sure I ended up disgusting the other party instead. Up till now, I wonder if we'll ever be the same friends we were again. Then there was another friend whom I've hurt yet again. Just because I was being selfish and I came clean too. Maybe white lies do help avoid getting others hurt.


I hate people who make fun, make jokes or 'shoot' people.
Don't get me wrong, I'm not talking about voicing out opinions here. I'm talking about putting your friend down, calling your friend names. Basically, it's called "Negative Humour". Got to know about it from church and it's been a long while since it was first mentioned. I'll admit that I do use negative humour on others, I have and I certainly will do so in the future, but when it comes to a point where that person can't take anymore what are we to expect?? Why put someone else's day on the line just to utter some nonsensical sentence just for the sake of a few minutes of laughter?


I don't like being ordered around, but I don't like standing in the frontline leading others either.
All I can say is it's human nature. We'll always yearn for the oposite of what we have/get. When I'm on my piano I would only feel like singing, when I have straight hair I would want my hair to be wavy. I've led and been led. And I still can't seem to make up my mind as to whether I enjoy leading or being led.


I detest the sirens of ambulances.
The reason is quite obvious. I lost my eldest sister 4 years back, my grandma 3 years back and my granduncle 2 years back. Everytime I hear an ambulance approaching and as the siren grows louder by each second, I try my hardest not to cringe and run in the opposite direction. And it doesn't really help when the dogs start howling sometimes too.





Shall end the post here.
Part II will be up when I'm finished with it.


Don't forget to turn out the lights.

Pictures for previous post

Here are the pictures on Hari Raya '08(yesterday). Pictures taken before, during and after the Desaru family trip we had today shall be posted if I ever get my hands on them. Feeling kinda lazy to add in the captions so I shall just let you guys wonder if you don't get the picture. Enjoy!

<u>Pictures of lunch at Arif's place

While we waited for taxis by the main road

Dinner at Roost

The End. =D

My '08 Hari Raya

Although I'm not one who goes all excited cause it's Hari Raya, I did have a wee bit of fun celebrating it by visiting Arif's house. Mercy came over after tuition at a little over 11.30am, waited for me to shower, and then off we headed to Arif's place. We had a very quiet lunch that involved a fair amount of jokes and laughs, and not to mention the food that was laid out on the table! Sorry if we intruded Arif, it was a really good meal and we had fun. Thanks and selamat Hari Raya DATUK(i still don't get it,bah)!


After lunch at Arif's, we walked out to the main road to hail two taxis to transport the six of us(SiWei, Tracy, Melanie, Mercy, Serah and me) to City Square. Caught Mama Mia!(is that how you spell it? With a space??) along with the bafoons. One would imagine how different two different cliques would react to watching the same movie together. Oh well, at least I had Serah and Mel singing and bouncing away to all the Abba songs that came on. We had a grand time laughing our heads off at some of the dance moves and scenes. [note: Serah still wasn't able to pay a visit to Action City but there wasn't much action this time as the last experience we had]


Headed home when I met mumsy and family who were with Max too. Left Mercy with Serah and Mel, so that she could accompany Adeline after the duo left for tuition. Finally met up with Merce and Mel at Roost after getting a little lost. Sorry I was late. So we talked and had a blast there. We were still impressed with the place and its atmosphere despite going there for a few times now. Of course, it was a totally different experience as it was our first time dining there together. Mel snapped pictures like the paparazzi does, while Mercy told me stories and other stuff. There were a lot of weird people around. Funny funny people. We laughed and laughed. Merce made a video of me laughing and whining. Mel sent it to her phone. Now God knows what I'm in for. Serah, we need to come up with a plan to retaliate them!! Merce sent me back home a little after 9pm.


So that was my day. Lots of laughing and fun involved, just the way I like my days to be. I'm going to the beach tomorrow with my family. Can't wait! Oh and by the way, pictures of today were taken by Mel, so it might take me a while to get them up. Unless she posts them that is.


Many thanks to WenLi for introducing a band called Until June to me. I have now fallen in love with one of their songs called You Do. The lyrics aren't a whole lot, but they speak really clearly and deliver the message very directly. Check it out if you have a minute or two.


Can someone please introduce me to bands that play New Age music? Indie would be nice too. Not too heavy, I listen to lyrics mostly. Let me know if you think I need to have a listen to your songlists!


Okay time to grab some shut-eye. Gotta get up bright and early tomorrow cause
I'M GOING TO THE BEACHHHHHHHH!!!!!! :DDDDDDD

This and that

You know how people tend to say one thing and do the opposite. I guess it's something we all have or will come across at some point of our lives. It's really frustrating sometimes because why would someone say something and do something else?


For example, let's have two friends; Lenny and Manny. Lenny made a mistake and made Manny upset. So Lenny apologizes and decides to call a truce with Manny's approval of course. Lenny asks if they're still friends and Manny says hell yeah. Then from that time onwards, Manny never ever speaks to Lenny again unless absolutely necessary.


Now, you get a rough idea of what I'm talking about here? I don't get it, I just don't. Why did Manny do that? It doesn't make much sense to me.



I'm listening to Death Cab For Cutie right now(awesome band! go have a listen) and I find some of their lyrics do make sense sometimes. Here're a few examples.

• "Instincts are misleading."
• "There's no comfort in the waiting room."
• "Fear is the heart of love."
• "That every plan is a tiny glimpse of Father Time."
• "Our memories depend on a faulty camera in our mind."

Have I mentioned that I love Death Cab's music like crazy?? I seem to remember doing so previously in a post I did a while ago. And if you missed it, well, I really really really really really really really love Death Cab For Cutie. So there you go. And I'm also quite sure you can tell from the list on the right side of my posts, where I've listed almost everything I love/like/am into/dig.



On the day I turned 16, which wasn't too long ago, I asked my mum if I could have a pet lion. Yes, your eyes aren't playing tricks on you and neither has your computer screen gone bonkers. I wanted a pet lion. I still do of course. But I wonder where I would have to get the food from, who would clean Rex's poo and stuff. Yep, I've even named it Rex. I could comb Rex's mane every single day. And even though I wouldn't be able to bring Rex out for walks everywhere, I hope I'll have some kind of field for him to run in where my home is. Of course, all this seems impossibly awesome and dreamlike. But a girl can dream can't she?


Heading to Arif's for lunch tomorrow cause it's Hari Raya. Mercy's coming over in the morning. Then we'll go out for a movie after lunch and then will have dinner at Roost or Treetop(correct eh Merce???). Von's coming back tomorrow too. And off we'll go to Tanjung Balau(some beach near Desaru, it's supposed to be safer and cleaner) on Thursday for a little family trip. Baking session at my place on Friday with Merce, Serah, Melly, Cal(hopefully) and Fann(haven't asked her yet =X)! Happy holidays to everyone else.



Can hear them fireworks and all sounding from afar. Just in case I forget to say this,
Selamat Hari Raya!

Important Message : Falls of Clyde

Came across this on the net and thought I should share this with everyone.
There's this really old ship they're going to sink.
Please help by signing the petition so that the ship isn't sunk.
Click on the image for more info and the petition page.
Thanks heaps!

The Falls Of Clyde

The Falls of Clyde is the last four-masted tall ship in existence built in 1878, Glasgow, Scotland. She is on the list as a National Historic landmark. She is owned by Bishop Museum of Honolulu Hawaii and is moored at one of their satellite museums the Hawaii Maritime Center. She is going to be sunk this month if they do not receive donations to save her. This huge amount of money that is said to be needed to save the ship is ridiculous. It is a ploy to mislead the public into thinking that nothing can be done to save the ship (she could also be put in concrete where she is berthed at much less cost). The San Diego and Texas Seaport Museum have similar ships also built in Scotland, and a year older than the Falls of Clyde. Both of these museums experienced in dry docking and saving ships to our knowledge have not been contacted by Bishop Museum.

Back to black.

Hello all.

Finally done with every single one of them trial papers. It's been exactly 26 days since I last blogged and I sure as hell have a lot suppressed in me. Feels awesome to be able to take a breather after what seemed like an eternity(it's merely been a little less than three weeks). But even after all the anxiety, last minute studies, 'freaking out', false fronts, high expectations and soon to come disappointments/satisfaction, it's good to know that this coming one-week-long holiday would definitely give all of us a huge boost to strive harder as time ticks away like nobody's business.

Here are a few difficulties I went through since the day of my last post.

1. I'm a lazy person. A very very lazy person. I procrastinate, I wait till the last minute, and then the 'freaking out' begins.[Note : Freaking out for me is all words and no actions, I'm just not the type who picks up a book to revise at the last minute.]
2. The tips that were spreading around was really affecting me. I'm sure every one of you appreciate and welcome tips, especially tips for those major examinations that are paid more attention to such as the trials examination we've just barely braved through. I welcome them too, but sometimes I just feel it's just not fair towards all the other people who never got tipped off about the paper. Besides, for those who are growing dependent on tips, what're you going to do when there aren't any tips for you anymore?
3. As for those who cheated during the papers, you know who you are and you probably didn't know that several of us know it damn well too. We're not blind, we just act oblivious. You should really stop all this cause we've been shielding you people for far too many times now.
4. I set my alarm for 3am, but my dog Cino wakes me up at 2.09am and keeps me up. Thank God for awesome friends like Mercy who rang me up at 3 in the morning just to run through our Accounts syllabus and ask each other questions we couldn't answer the other because we're taught differently by two abnormally mad very different teachers.
5. I had a misunderstanding with someone and I was deeply troubled with it. By this, I wasted quite a lot of time brooding over nothing.
6. Being one who loves to think about everything and anything, I wondered about things like : "What if I run out of pen ink/test pad?" "What if I wake up late and didn't go to school for my paper?" "Why couldn't it have rained today?" "Why people started relationships young?" "How do people really trust each other?" "Why do people lie and put up a false front?" "Why I can't seem to get my head to remember details of History for my paper?" "Is that person being a hypocrite because of me?" "Can someone please explain the periodic table to me?" "How come you get to make the decisions and I get no say at all?" "Why do people smile when they are crying out on the inside?" "Why do my nails grow so fast?".
7. I deprived myself of my music drugs. People, I'm talking about me not getting on the computer for my daily dose of songs as much as I always do. That was real pain I tell you.
8. I don't like noises not made or started by me, that I will admit.
9. I missed a couple of lunches on Fridays with a few friends who always helped start off my weekend with a blast. I didn't even go out as often as I used to anymore(probably also due to the fact that there wasn't anyone to go out and hang with).
10. I had to resist the temptation of reading the novels and books I have at home again. After only about 6 times.

So there you go. Just some stuff that I could/would have blogged and ranted about.




On the other hand, I'm going to be random for a moment.


"You said we could be friends, but we're no where like how we used to be."
"You came back, had your fun, then went away again."
"You were my buddy, but we don't even talk anymore."
"You got busy with your own world, and by that you stepped out of mine."
"You are lost, and still not found."
"You make promises and put them in a bottle, then you empty it when the bottle has been filled like it never mattered."
"You wanted that, but this is all I can offer."
"You gave a reason, an absurdly unreasonable one."
"You start a fire, and time feeds it gasoline."
"You don't get it sometimes, and sometimes I can't make you get it either."
"You might be gone, but you're still around somehow."



Burnt out,
physically cause I went out with the people who bring fun to a whole new level;
and
mentally cause of them muggings.



My heartfelt thanks to the people I hung with today =D :
MercytheCaramelBabe, you're always there when I need fun. I'm sorry if I dragged you to anywhere you didn't want to go(KL for youknowwhat) or to do anything you didn't want to. I'll write you an essay really really soon.
SerahtheCuteTwin, I'm sorry if I made you cry. Your facial expressions are totally classics, every single one of them. Will write you essay if you want me to too.
MelanietheOneWhoTreatsMeLikeAPillow, I know you totally LOVE my shoulder, I know you miss me sharing a bus with you, I know you miss hitting on me(my shoulder to be exact lol). Hold on to your sanity, you'll be one of the brighest supernovas yet. Will write essay if you want me to too.
SiWeitheBlurWoman, we've known each other for a while and even though we don't hang out much together, we share more happy memories than those unmemorable ones. I'd love to spend more time with you, for you have been one great friend to have. If you want an essay too, you know what to do.
AdelineYaptheBunsGirl, although we only shared a bus ride today, you're always having those silly moments with Mercy and you guys really do make me laugh my head off. We've gone through this year along with CallyWallyPally and SarahWongmyOtherTwin, finally we've finished our job. Loved working with you and all the jokes and talks we had. Essay?

Remember when

I did a post like this a while ago,
but recently bore more thoughts, and so

once again down the 'Remember when' road,
for them memories we had, have and those still unknown.

Remember when



You were forced to attend a family gathering when you were little?

Attending them along with a sour face most of the time.


You went out for a whole day with your friends behaving like maniacs?
The thrill and fun it brought to our times together.


You flipped through your baby photos?
You'll wonder how you could ever have been so small.


You were wronged for something you never did?
It hurts the most when the people you're close to malign you.


You attended a concert and screamed at your favourite artist/band/group?
One fine day it might just be your turn.


You watched others as they go through the same thing you went through?
Where your emotions run wild; worry, frustration, fear, pride, etc.


You're treated in a totally different way despite the story you're told?
You're deceived and left with a picture that's different from everyone else.


You're called names and laughed at?
The hurt and rejection you feel amplified by every time this happens.


You listened to songs you used to love when you were a kid?
They bring back many different memories, both pleasant and not so nice ones.


You lost a pet?
Feeling all alone with memories of playing with the pet running through your head.


You brought every single book of every subject to school everyday?
For fear of forgetting your homework/textbook.


You checked to see if your sleeping family member was still breathing?
Just to be sure.


You developed a fear of trusting others too much?
After that one horrible incident.


You started dreading the sound of sirens?
A phobia that started after losing someone precious.


You wanted to tell that someone that what they're doing isn't right?
But you couldn't work up the courage cause you were afraid to lose that friendship.


You had a friend who was in dire need for help?
Yet the help you could offer wasn't the help desired.


You had an unrealistic dream that seemed so real when you woke up?
Well, a girl can dream.


You hated materialism but you really wanted to have the latest trend/technology in your hands?
How we humans love to contradict ourselves.





I must apologize if you're beginning to find me a bore.
My trials are coming and I'm far from being ready for the battle for now.
Am definitely working on it, though I'm quite afraid to expect too much.
Because I'll only be more disappointed the higher my expectations.
In any case, Happy 51st Birthday Malaysia.



"You're unlike any other."
-Thunder, Boys Like Girls



Don't wait up for me,
Goodnight.

C

Hello all.


This shall be a picture-post on Ed Westwick(Chuck)!
Why?
For I am the blogger,
and thou shalt read what hast been written if thou art here at present.
Mwahahahaha.
hahaha.
haha.
ha.
Okay.


I finished my Economics holiday homework
so I'm kindareally ridiculously HIGH.


Sorry sorry.
Back to Ed!
Won't post too many images cause I don't want to make your computers lag too much.
I can do another post another time if anyone would like me to.
*hint hint*
Get your pillows and hanky ready,
cause you're about to drool yourself silly!
Note : Watch out for his eyes cause they have the tendency to electrify.



chuckbasschuckbasschuckbasschuckbasschuckbasschuckbasschuckbasschuckbasschuckbasschuckbas
edwestwickedwestwickedwestwickedwestwickedwestwickedwestwickedwestwickedwestwickedwestwi





Ready or not?











You sure??















VERY sure???
[lol okay okay]







Eye Candy Time! :D

My very own McDreamy
[cue to swoon]

His eyes!!!
*faints*

The uniform of St. Jude
(where all the boys in Gossip Girl attend school)

He looks so so awesome in a tux
I love the umbrella he's holding here!

His crooked smile!
Who's the cutest of 'em all??
[From left:Chuck Bass(Ed Westwick!),
Nate Archibald(Chace Crawford),
Dan Humphrey(Penn Badgley)]

The main characters of Gossip Girl Season 1
[From left : Nate, Serena, Chuck, Blair, Dan, Jenny]

Here's Ed bidding you all a fair eventide!
*faints AGAIN for real*

BF stands for back and forth

There you go Jackson!
A dude from Sweden owns me. lol
And his name's kinda similar to yours too!


Needless to say, my newest superstar of interest and latest obsession still stands firm.
ED WESTWICK
I even started subscribing to all the awesome videos on youtube.
Told you I'm obsessed.
And the best part is, a lot of people agree with what I think :
Chuck and Blair do make a good couple in GG!
Was watching E! on tv today and got a sneak peek into season 2 of GG.
Chuck's gonna hook up with Blair again!
Of course, it'll be an on and off thing.
After all, quote Chuck "I'm Chuck Bass." end of quote.
And when Leighton Meester was asked how she felt when she read the script saying Blair(Meester) was going to hook up with Chuck(Westwick!:D), she squealed and said "I thought it was awesome cause everyone knows Blair and Chuck belong together! I mean, he's the only one who really understands her."!
Sigh.
I totally can't wait for season 2 of GG to be released.
FatalityYummy. Teehee!


Okay, just a random thought here.
Is it just me, or do I sound like an E! reporter??
It'd be best if you just ignored me.


Don't mind me, I watched two episodes of "Living Lohan" back to back today.
And I think I fell for Lindsay Lohan's little kid brother, Dakota aka Cody.
[taken at the 2006 Olympus Fashion week
where he modeled for some kids designer wear]
Cute little boy. Blond too.
He taught his grandma how to play basketball today.
Cute and sweet little boy.
Did I mention he was blond?
Don't know why he's a redhead here.
Not that I have anything against redheads.
Teehee.


Went out with Clara, Von and Paul last night.
Dropped StevetheTeddy off at his place.
Clara and Von went for a manicure.
Clara's nails are hot fuchsia while Von's are greyish purple.
According to Von, Clara took her "first" away.
Her first manicure experience, that is.
They were giggling like hyenas last night like it was no one else's business.
Oh and I became their hands after they finished their manicure for a while.
Didn't really mind though. Was amusing listening to their talks and giggles.
Then we fetched Paul from tuition.
Saw Jacelyn and Zoe there.
Screamed their names so loud I might have gave the other kiddos waiting there a fright.
Paul is currently discovering himself.
He made a new friend when we went over to Revelation located at Tmn Sentosa.
Drank Tom Yam soup and talked about relationships and infatuations.


PAG's starting tomorrow.
It's a church camp fyi.
Bet the kiddies are thrilled and excited.
Might even attended the Talentnite on Saturday.


Having extra Science class in school tomorrow.
Holidays? What holidays??


Till next time,
Say Goodnight and Go.

Lightened

Hello friends and readers alike.



You hurt me(not intentionally of course). I am aware that it's a joke. Heck, everything is always a joke for you. But even the best of friends have a certain line they draw between each other. There are certain unspoken rules that have been silenced for far too long. Anyhow, I haven't felt this kind of hurt in a long time. Prolly cause I've been living in denial for quite some time now. You're gonna lose some really precious things if this keeps up you know. But maybe you're just finding yourself like all the rest of us are trying to do as well.



After watching so many movies and comparing them to reality, I find it all overrated, exaggerating, confusing and -most of the time- one BRILLIANT lie. Perhaps it is because the furthest I've been away from home is Thailand, or rather the fact that I'm just a mere student still stuck attending secondary school, but almost everything in the movies are so well-arranged and expected. Cliche, some would say. I don't know about you guys, but it's getting kind of tiring to watch the same plots with different twists air over and over again on screen. No offence to anyone whatsoever, but I absolutely see no sense in horror films. Do these people take pleasure in claiming money for scaring the crap out of people? I'd like to think they're quite out of their mind to come up with ideas as such. Brr, just the thought of horror films makes my hair stand on its end.



Thanks WenLi mei for that talk we had after the email you sent me! We finally got things off our chest huh? Don't worry so much about what's to come to be, things will fall into the right place most of the time. Unless of course you haven't done your best to prevent the worst from happening. You're gonna do awesome things. Love you more than my calculator can count. =)



Note to Jack : A swedish dude bought me via a facebook application called "OWNED"!!! Will post the image for you to see soon. :D

Don't worry

Hello all.

So it's the start of a one-week holiday, but I won't be able to enjoy this holiday. Why, you ask? I've been washed away with past year papers as holiday work in preparation for "war". Guess I should stop complaining right about now, wouldn't want to make a bore out of this post. To all fifth-formers, hang in there! This will all be over before we know it, and the best thing is :

"Everything's gonna be okay."

Right Clara(who heard it from my sister Lorraine)?
Last lap babies, it's time to sprint and full steam ahead I'd say. Though I wouldn't say this would be the last exam you'll be taking so long as you live, but this might very well be the last exam you'll take with subjects you haven't got an interest for. So play hard and study smart!

_____________________________________________________________________________________

I like the people I sit in class with very much. There's Jess on my left, an empty seat on my right which my bag always hogs(which is very conveniently right by the back door of my classroom), Yi Ping right in front of me, with Pauline on her right and Sin Ying on her other side. The dynamic trio in front of me are the only volleyball players in my class, but they have a really tight bond for friendship. Sin Ying is one of the greatest few I've ever met since I started my secondary school life, hilarious, clumsy, insane and lovable girl; Yi Ping is been an athlete ever since I could remember knowing her, quiet and reserved at first, but I've been getting to know her better this year; and Pauline is this unpredictable laughing machine with all the funniest gestures and actions you'll never imagine even in your dreams. We converse in Mandarin most of the time cause we were all from Mandarin language-based primary schools. That must have been the reason why we were dubbed the title "MCA" by Mrs MJ, our Basic Economics teacher.
Anyways, we were about to head to the KH bengkel the other day when the trio started talking about personal hygiene. I swear, Yi Ping is one of the few people who are obsessed with personal hygiene. I mean, WHO PUTS THEIR BATH TOWEL DOWN TO WASH EVERY SINGLE TIME THEY BATHE WEI??? And the worst part is, apparently the whole family has this disorder. The bottom line is that 4 of us ended up laughing our heads off at Yi Ping cause Pauline was calling her an absurd person and made some weird jokes out of it. We turned up for class 15 minutes late cause Yi Ping and Pauline were laughing so hard in the classroom that they had to cling onto their chairs for support. It's really fun watching them converse, one of the few things that I find extremely amusing. Did I mention Sin Ying and Jess pick fights with each other all the time? Sure there's a lot of negative humour being thrown at each other all the time, but they're still as tightly-knitted as ever.
Thanks you guys for brightening my days in class! MCA wan sui! :D

_____________________________________________________________________________________

Caught 3 movies this past week.
Monday - The Mummy(the one with Jet Li as the dragon king bad guy dude)
Wednesday - 21(yes, I watched it again. Choi cute! Hee-haw xD)
Saturday - You Don't Mess With The Zohan(mad stuff this one)
And so it's safe to say, I AM BROKE.
Celebrating Jack's birthday a day earlier later today.[OMG it's 2.12am now]
JACK YOU ARE SO GONNA BUY ME LUNCH!!!

_____________________________________________________________________________________

Thanks Clara, for that random line you said to me during rehearsal just now and the big word you drew in my notebook. WOMBATS, SQUIRRELS AND CHUCK BASS!!!
Thanks Jack, for the past few days of hanging and the sadistic picture you drew in my notebook as well.
Thanks Serah, Joyce, Elfira, Dalbina and Yi Th'ng for drawing in my notebook! I'll take it out one day and cry when I think of you guys, and for that I thank you.
Thanks Jourdy and Vinny for replying my messages when it's really late at night.
Thanks Leroy and gang for hanging with me twice this week. It's too bad there weren't any tickets left for the cartoonized movie of Star Wars.
Thanks Mercy, Serah and Adeline for 21. *remember Choi steal everything in Vegas? lol*
Thanks Joyce, for being my bestest bestest bestest friend when I was weird on Friday. I'm sorry.
Feel better soon : Fanny, Cally Wally Pally, Jack, Joyce, Ceci, Nigel(cause his muscles are aching from doing 50 pushups lol), Vinesh, Mercy, Serah, Si Wei(real sorry about your book!) and everyone else who doesn't feel like they should.

_____________________________________________________________________________________

I guess you really forgot.
But I can't blame you.
You're running out of excuses,
While I'm running out of time.

Till Jackson's birthday outing+dinner is over,
"Don't worry about a thing,
cause every lil' thing's gonna be alright."
-Three Little Birds, Bob Marley