The Jump

I stand at the edge of the cliffs.

Water gushes and collides with the rocks beneath.

The wind lingers in my hair as the cold bites.

I shiver, but not because of the temperature or the height.

Your jacket hangs over my shoulders, your smell barely there anymore.



I think back about the nights;

When I wore your shirt to bed under my own over-sized shirt just so I could be as close as I could possibly get to you.

Every tiny detail of that garment, I have memorized and engraved in my mind.

Yet I know I would not be able to put it into words if I was asked to describe it.



A gust of wind gnaws at my feet once more.

Wait for it, hun. We're just about there.



Where our feet leave the ground.

Kaboom

I guess this is it. The time where everything comes together.



Bang.


Crash.


All hell breaks loose.

It's funny if you really think about it. Now it's as if we're both competing to see who hurts the other more. Oh yes, it's great fun. What's that? Me, cry? No, I've shed enough tears for a quarter of a year. In fact, I haven't had such fun since I was in form 1. It's like that incident happening all over again except this time, I can still see and speak with you. True, not as often as I'd like, but there's definitely moments where we spend hours with each other. It's just like losing the same yet different thing all over again. Yeah that's it, same yet totally different. No, I would not like a tissue. I'd rather just let it all out now. But hey, who am I to cry? It's just like you said, yeah going off to cry again. Well, maybe I don't want to cry anymore. I'm tired really. And I know about the mistakes I've made, trust me I really do. As to why I'm not showing any remorse, it has something to do with a thing called pride. I would miss you, yeah I would. But what good would that do? What good has that done? As for the mistakes I've committed and am about to, the pain I've inflicted and am about to, I would apologize a thousand, no a million gazillion times even. But I should know by now it wouldn't matter much anyways.

I would have missed you more if it made a difference.
I would have apologized more if it made I could get the words out of my mouth.
I would have bought you things if I had the money to.
I would have stop using all your stuff if I were a more considerate person.

I'm sorry I'm not that person. This is who I am, who I've turned out to be. And I thank you for all that you've done so far for me. All the huge stuff down to the tiniest details, I'd never be able to make a wholesome list without missing anything out. I'm not perfect after all. And for that, I'm sorry.

For now, I'm done wetting my cheeks. They deserve some sunshine, regardless of what my stupidity has led me to have done. Pardon me if you will. I'll keep missing you. I'd just like to be left alone for a bit.

But I know I need the company.

You're bluffing

Lies
Tell me do you lie
Nobody likes hearing them
Yet when somebody tells them
Everybody believes them
I have a question
Do you like lying
Because when I lie
I just feel like burying myself
With my pillows
And cry like there's no tomorrow
Some lies however
they're told to protect others
To protect them from the truth
As the truth can be horrifying
But most lies
They hurt
Not only the listeners
And believers of lies
But also the liars
There's a saying
Once you lie
You have to tell another
To cover up the lie before
And that's when
You get caught up
In a vicious cycle
Full of telling lies
And hurting others




"You're bluffing!"
"I only speak the truth."

Here goes

Am finally done with my papers.
Hung out with Dalbina the moniter best friend and Joyce the bestest bestest bestest bestest bestest friend and others too.
Off to RYLA camp tomorrow morning!
Will be back on Sunday.
Wonder if I'll actually get myself a towel to wrap myself with and roll in.
Hmmmm... :D