Kaboom

I guess this is it. The time where everything comes together.



Bang.


Crash.


All hell breaks loose.

It's funny if you really think about it. Now it's as if we're both competing to see who hurts the other more. Oh yes, it's great fun. What's that? Me, cry? No, I've shed enough tears for a quarter of a year. In fact, I haven't had such fun since I was in form 1. It's like that incident happening all over again except this time, I can still see and speak with you. True, not as often as I'd like, but there's definitely moments where we spend hours with each other. It's just like losing the same yet different thing all over again. Yeah that's it, same yet totally different. No, I would not like a tissue. I'd rather just let it all out now. But hey, who am I to cry? It's just like you said, yeah going off to cry again. Well, maybe I don't want to cry anymore. I'm tired really. And I know about the mistakes I've made, trust me I really do. As to why I'm not showing any remorse, it has something to do with a thing called pride. I would miss you, yeah I would. But what good would that do? What good has that done? As for the mistakes I've committed and am about to, the pain I've inflicted and am about to, I would apologize a thousand, no a million gazillion times even. But I should know by now it wouldn't matter much anyways.

I would have missed you more if it made a difference.
I would have apologized more if it made I could get the words out of my mouth.
I would have bought you things if I had the money to.
I would have stop using all your stuff if I were a more considerate person.

I'm sorry I'm not that person. This is who I am, who I've turned out to be. And I thank you for all that you've done so far for me. All the huge stuff down to the tiniest details, I'd never be able to make a wholesome list without missing anything out. I'm not perfect after all. And for that, I'm sorry.

For now, I'm done wetting my cheeks. They deserve some sunshine, regardless of what my stupidity has led me to have done. Pardon me if you will. I'll keep missing you. I'd just like to be left alone for a bit.

But I know I need the company.