Saturday, August 13

Dear you,

Feel better.


Sincerely,

Me.

Friday, August 12

Wave (I)

I thought I had forgotten the sounds of a hospital ward but guess not, that memory of a frail looking hero I once knew lying on a hospital bed is still etched in my head. I thought I smelt your scent in the house today, but of course, there was nobody there. I can still hear you clear your throat the way you used to. I can still remember you.


爸爸,你最近还好吧?

Thursday, May 26

eh got no tittle

JOHN's verbal diarrhea:

i dont know how to blog. im using one hand to type. i hope andrew comes before I forget what im suppose to remind Sara. So yeah. meh. meh. the puppy has kutu. like putu mayam. and gula melaka. k bai.

Wednesday, May 18

Things that annoy me #1

It's annoying that people make a certain face when you say something they don't really agree with or like.


Best part was, I caught that person during the act today.

Thursday, May 12

Today

Messed up. Big time.



Now what?

Saturday, May 7

What's left

You remember me right?

Remember when we went everywhere together? When we held each other's stuff, walked to places together, liked and disliked the same people.



You remember me right?

Remember when I talked back to you and mama stood up for me? When you two got into a big fight afterwards, and mama ended up crying in her room and I cried cause I was young and didn't know what to do.



You remember me right?

Remember when we used to play monopoly? When we used to play house, lay on each other's laps and stayed up late watching the telly hoping our parents never found out.



You remember me right?

Remember when you used to call me "Terminator"? When I was still the kid who ran around with hair growing towards the sky, chasing after you cause you called me names.



You remember me right?

Remember when I rang you up and asked if you were talking about me on the bus? When I thought you had a thing for me, and we had this long talk about that girl you're still in love with up till now.



You remember me right?

Remember when I asked if dad would ever cheat on you during that one night when there was a blackout? When I used to wake you up in the middle of the night just to follow me to the toilet cause I was worried a ghost would come and get me.



You remember me right?

Remember when I came to your place every Sunday for violin lessons? When once a wall lizard ran across my legs while I was playing my piece, and how you used to leave the nail clipper on the table cause you know I never trim my nails.



You'll remember me right?

As a girl who says things on her mind without much thought, as a girl who would approach people to strike up a conversation, as a girl who played many musical instruments, as a girl who was always single, as a girl who knew many people, as a girl who loved disagreeing and having healthy arguments with people.



You'll remember me. Right?

Friday, April 29

Letter #000

Dearest, why do you insist on keeping every single thing to yourself? It is as if you are a tightly closed shell, unwilling to even leave room for some air in to breathe. You live in your own head, running in circles until you exhaust yourself only to have a breakdown and then the cycle repeats itself. Has there been no one who has expressed concern toward you? Or has just experiencing the world made you conclude that nobody should be given a chance to enter your own realm of thoughts and feelings? It must be depressing, this horrible recording you keep going through over and over in that depressing place! This shell of yours, or some would call a wall, when will it ever be pierced through? You find joy but you do not share and you feel sorrow yet you will not let it show, when in truth joy is multiplied when shared and sorrow is lightened when we confide in another. It is difficult to live in such a way, is it not? Give yourself a chance, give others a chance, give your life a chance! Come join the rest of us as we struggle to learn to live and deal, to desire and to yearn.

Come, let us all feed off the rest of humanity.

Tuesday, April 26

In recent times...

Lent has just passed, so has Easter.

My dog ran away from home last Friday into the rain since it was Good Friday and all. Rushed home from church and I searched for her in the rain to no avail. I couldn't find her anywhere, so that night I cried myself to sleep since I had a paper in the morning the next day.

It's a wonder how I even got to school without crying all the way, how I could laugh with some friends while we did some last minute cramming in the school cafeteria, how I managed to answer the questions and not murder anyone annoying along the way. All I wanted to do was to get back home and distribute the notices I made to get my fur ball back.

Anyway, long story cut short, Cino is now home after roaming around 3 housing areas. Three. I kid you not. This dog is mental and crazy fit, I wonder how she survived. Apparently she made friends with 2 strays and 2 other pet dogs. She came back all quiet and wasn't very responsive when we called to her, probably suffered a trauma or something.

She's back to normal. I think she had a rough time away from home those 29 hours. No matter, she's home now. Thank you God for keeping her safe.


Blessed Easter everyone!

Thursday, April 21

Difference

You've taken the same road countless times that you know it like the back of your hand. There's that pebble hanging right by the edge of the tar road, and that white blob of excess white paint that was spilled. You even know the number of seconds each side of the traffic gets till the light turns green on your end again. That familiar billboard advert greets you every single time you stare out your car window.



Yet every time you take that same road, it just isn't the same as the last time you were there.


What's so different? You continue wondering.

Monday, April 18

Communication

Remember the good old days when we used simple language to convey our thoughts?


Example 1
"Mama I really really really love you."

"Really? How much?"

"This much!"


And then you proceed to stretching your arms as wide as your tiny toddling frame can go. Or if you've never done that before (cause you weren't a very cute little kid), maybe you remember this.


Example 2
"Which color do you like?"

"Red!"


Yes, of course I'm talking about crayons. Everyone had a history with crayons. Everyone. Anywho, back to my topic for today.


At my current age, many of us are heavily influenced by our peers, the radio, the telly, movies and, not to forget what connects us all, the internet. I'm pretty sure most of the topics of discussion we have come from these media too. Here are some examples of what we receive from these influences.


More examples
  • "I wanna get wit' chu."
  • "omgwtfbbq"
  • "you betta hide yo daught'rs and hide yo wives."
  • "you dun goof'd!"
  • "haters to the left."
  • "don't be a drag just be a queen."
  • "Friday Friday we're gonna get high down on Friday."
  • "My mum thinks LOL means lots of love. Today, my mum sent me a text that read 'Your grandma died today. LOL.' "


I just don't get it. Why. Pfft.


p/s: That last example is a personal favorite by the way. Got it off one of those sites where you like the link if it's relevant to you.

Thursday, April 14

Ended a module today. It's weird that five modules are done already, I still feel like I haven't started too long ago.


I have a habit of blanking out sometimes cause I have really short daydreams. Today, about twenty minutes before my last lecture for the module was to end, it was raining really heavily outside that I could even hear the thunder from inside the building. The first thing that hit my mind was that the world was ending outside and here I am, still having a lecture while everyone was running around outside and the sky might have turned red or fallen down, I can't remember.

Thursday, April 7

New beginnings #1

It's been a while since I've had the chance to pen everything down, so I've decided that sometimes I'll leave certain statements after having debates I have in my head just so I can keep track on how active my mind has been. Whoopee! No, not really. But if you do have time on your hands, consider with me won't you?


Without further ado, here is today's. Have fun, no stress and don't overwork yourselves!



"If you've lived long enough, you would know that there really isn't just black and white."


Fyi, comments are very much welcomed!

Monday, April 4

Vibes

Humans are smart creatures.


I say that because I know for a fact that humans can read these things called "vibes", these invisible and unspoken expressions that are somehow translated and received by others, sometimes unknowingly and other times on purpose.


During the past week, I got vibes from a couple of friends that I might have been using them as my means of transport too often and it shouldn't be a surprise to you that it didn't make me feel very nice at all. I also got vibes that I might be too proud or boastful, that I might be belittling some people, or even that I don't know when to keep my mouth shut.


Maybe it's just my receiving end that's gone wrong, maybe they are thinking that way, maybe I'm over-thinking things. One thing for sure is, something doesn't feel right and I don't like it not feeling right.

Saturday, April 2

Blockage

You know those moments when you can't tell what you're feeling because apparently there are so many feelings that hit you all at once, you don't know which to reveal as the answer when someone asks you about it?






























Jackson posing by a leaf-less plant in a huge pot.


Well, times like those call for a burst after blockage over a certain period. The "kraken is released"! Then all is well again.


Or at least, for now it is.

Wednesday, March 30

Confirmation

So I made a new face for my blog, I guess I really am coming back on blogger. It's been a while and lots of changes have been made to edit the pages, so I'm feeling rather impressed. I'll be writing stuff, so watch out for that. Of course there will be rants as well.


Just gonna go with the flow and see how things turn out. I'm in uni now and I have a feeling time won't be on my side very often for very long.


Anywho! Hello all, I'm back.

Monday, March 28

The Return

Am considering a return to blogger, we'll see what happens. I could never find the courage to post something about myself on my Tumblr page. Hm. We'll see!