joy ceLLS.

picture taken on 18th of October, 2008 at Wit Lyn's place.
[from left : Harv, Ceci, Sara, Merce and Joyce]



Today is the day Joyce turned 18.
EIGHTEEN! =D

Known as my bestest bestest bestest bestest bestest(5 times kay) friend,
Joyce has been one heck of a person to know.

It was pretty awesome cause you asked me out to spend the day with you.
I acted as though I forgot it was your birthday the whole day. lol. I apologise if you're mad at me.
I'm really(times infinity) honoured, so

Happy 18th Birthday Joyce!


Met up at about 10.27am in MPH where they display the globes, where we were both smiling like maniacs cause it's been a long time. Had a drink at Starbucks that came with a nice loooong talk and walked around. Ate our very late lunch at Secret Recipe where Ceci joined us just before we asked for the bill. Then we walked, took pictures and laughed around before leaving Joyce with her mum in the jewelry shop downstairs.

Thanks for hanging today, having that talk, buying stuff with me, the laughs, pictures and all else. It was really nice to see you and we'll hang again soon! Hugs. *grins*

p/s : Don't forget to tell me what's happening with you and all. I'm really horrible at keeping in touch with people.

"Tell me your secrets, nurseask me your questions."
-Coldplay

A short mathematical reasoning lesson

Premise 1 : It's always a joy talking with old friends.
Premise 2 : It's always a joy joking with old friends.
Conclusion : Talking and joking with old friends are always a joy.


Take this evening for example, Adeline and me were im-ing each other on Msn. The issue at hand is Sylar(the villian from Heroes)'s THICK eyebrows.


a d l n says:
aiya if natural oso can go shave

a d l n says:
rite?

Sara sOng : Chasing all of the rain away. says:
he likes robin thicke la. wanna have THICKEyebrows.



Gosh, I crack myself up sometimes.

Hothothothothot

Had my bath, went downstairs for dinner and watched 2 movies on Astro before returning to the computer and reading this :


Alven says: NO WONDER NEVER RAIN SO WARM LA !! ALL YOUR FAULT !


I'll have to admit, I didn't quite get why my cousin was so upset until I noticed what my MSN nickname said :


"Sara sOng : Chasing all of the rain away."


Lol, sorry Ven. I guess song lyrics have found a way to turn into reality.
On a lighter note, the sun has been quite a psycho these days huh? Blazing without rest and all. Where has all the evaporated water gone?



"We'll go all out, guns ablazing."

Of the has-beens and what's to come

I've been told ever since I could understand words that every step I take will form what's to be one day. Every decision, every action, every word have I uttered and every emotion that has ever probed my heartstrings, they have all been compiled into my life; my story. All the possibilities in the world are merely waiting to unfurl. Sure the road ahead seems a little too dark for me now, but I'm sure we're all going to survive just fine. And even though it's inevitable that I'm going to change, no matter for better or worse, I'm quite sure I am going to miss this me today(ring a bell, Clara?). After all, we're all here for some reason, though we might not be aware of whatever it is just yet. Let's just wait and see what happens shall we?


"I brave fire and I brave rain."
-Evan and Jaron

Secret

I broke the fall of the rain as they landed on the raincoat. In return, they splashed away in drops, tinier than they already were. How silly it must have looked in the eyes of others, a girl in a raincoat freezing as the rain continued. I shuddered involuntarily, taking in a sharp breath at the same moment. It seems everything is being washed, but everyone else passing me by don't seem to notice. It's like a secret. One of which only the rain and I share.

"Quit crying your eyes out."
-+44

DnA overloaD

It's all a blur.

You used to be the discipline of the house, the one who hated noise. I always thought you disliked me among us all, probably cause you never once failed to shout my name out of us. I found out what you had done, and when I questioned the other party, the truth was kept from me still. At that time it was no wonder to me why you were always so distant and proud, so near yet unreachable. I tried to show you how much I liked you despite all the negativity you gave me. I remember once during what I regarded a special day you lashed out at me just cause I was doing two things at the same time. I even thought you despised me at one point. I was never good enough, careful enough, quiet enough, inactive enough, nice-looking enough. Heck, I've tried. I've given, maybe not my all, but a fair bit to keep this up. Sure you're cool at times, but when it hurts, Christ it really does hurt. I really don't think I can do this anymore. In any case, I'm sorry I'm not good enough and I haven't tried hard enough in your eyes.

You know how we humans tend to do things for others, wanting to keep their best interests at heart, that sometimes we do too much and end up pushing that person too far?

I get it.
Papa, Mummy, everyone else.
I really absolutely do.
That you're all trying to help me out.


But this time, you really have gone too far.



"I know you don't know me, but I love you."
-Big Fish

Unbreakable

The cracks are showing
I can barely hide them
The harder I try to keep
The more composure I lose
But I will not let it control me
I am,
for as long as I can be,
unbreakable.

"Nobody said it was easy."
-The Scientist, Coldplay

My head is being pierced by thousands of spears

Okay I'm just kidding. But seriously, having a headache isn't something I'd hire bears to dance around my garden for(not that I have the finance to do that but whatever). No mood or brains to write something, so there. Woah it's saturday already?

Nightmares

A : Vicious-looking sheep bit at me and my clothes as my friends and I passed them by on a dark deserted road. One by one, I lost the whole group till I was one and on my own.

B : I lie flat, unable to move, as a mattress in a store. They just keep coming, an endless line of people sitting on me, testing the comfort I offer. And all I can do is to be an immobile statue and get sat on.

C : Hands reach into my covers and grab my legs as I slept on my bed. I lift my head and get ready to scream, but what I see is so horrible I can't find my voice.

D : Voices ring all around me. They come from all directions, urgent whispers and rushed words altogether, all fighting to be heard first. But as I look around, there's nothing but the dark.

E : Looking in a mirror and seeing something that shouldn't be there, there.

F : In the midst of brushing my teeth, a scary mask with an eerie laugh pops out from the door frame.

G : Walking across a busy road, I walk hand-in-hand with someone dear. All of a sudden, angry horns are blasting and the hand I'm holding onto is gone.

H : Sleeping right after an intense Chendol eating session, a huge green goo with chendol sticking out chases after me, screaming 'why did you eat meeeee".

I : Getting woken up in the middle of the night by the explosion of a gunshot outside the room, getting up and opening the door to both my parents lying face down on the floor, dead.

J : The time on my cell shows it's 11pm. Eleven at night. And yet it's as though no one's at home. I mean, sure, I'm home now and so is my maid and our 3 dogs. The koi fishes have gone for a short stay at dad's friend's place. Other than that, silence deafens my hearing. Everything's in place, but there's nothing at all.

So tell me,
which of the above scares you?;
which of the above seems hilarious?;
and which seems most likely to happen?.
Comments please.


"Tripping eyes and flooded lungs,
Northern downpour sends its love."
-Northern Downpour, Panic! At the Disco

Nots

As the song is cut off silence drowns its absence.

The bass line echoes, pounding through the empty room.

That face flashes by in my mind once more.

It's haunting yet I've gotten used to it by now.

I refuse to be affected,

refuse the need to reach out only to fall head first over disappointment.

The flowers are blooming in the garden.

Yet it's slowly being eaten up by the parasites that live off it.

Water does not drown me.

Fire does not burn me.

Earth does not bury me.

Metal does not hurt me.

Yet I am not invincible.

No, I am but a human.





Run outside and stare at the sky.
What do you see?

3 messages and a thought

Simple messages, they tend to say a lot. Or at least, to me they do.
I asked 3 very different individuals for something for my post, and here's what they wrote for me to copy and paste.


From Ceci :
"I LOVE YOU SARAAAAAAAAAAA !
xoxo, Cecilia. ;]"


From Suphatta :
"not a single salty tear.
not a feeling in my chest.
baby i'm feeling no stress.
i'm too fly to be depressed."


From Farhan :
"There's a girl,
I met not that recently,
I fell in love silently

Listen to my heart intently.
Its' beating alongside hers',
I have the tears,
Tears of joy I meant.
She's making my heart dent.

Hallucinations,
Filling by visions,
By missions,
By illusions.

I see images,
Photos,
Shapes,
Caricatures.
All and only hers'.

I am insane,
Criminally insane at that.
I wanna hug you so tight,
Never letting go,
Because as of now, you are my glow.

Embracing you in my arms,
Would be the perfect fairytale love story.
I've read it all in books,
Now its' time to put fiction to reality.
I'll love you indefinitely...

The wind,
Blowing through your hair.
Oh, I can just imagine,
How sweet you'll look.
And I'll just be staring at you,
That's' all I'll be able to do.
Cause' I'm mesmerized."


I noticed that Cecilia wrote hers for me, Suphatta wrote hers for herself and Farhan wrote his for someone else. It's interesting, that they wrote something for different people for a common receiver; me. In any case thank you Ceci, Phatta, and Couchie!



On the other hand,

Dying for something or someone to hold on to.

Uncertainty

Sometimes I wonder what it'd be like to be a 'Fred' and have my own 'Judy'.
But in my case, it'll have to be the other way around.
"I'm not a stalker! Urgh." - funny dude, Fred is. A sad one too.
Then I chicken out when the phobia kicks in.
And I find myself awakening to reality once more.


What if I know I'm wasting time yet know not what to do?
What if I can't think of what I should do next?
What if I am afraid of being uncertain?
What if I don't took my next step?
What if I got it at my first try?
What if I had done better?
What if I tried harder?
What if I don't lie?
What if I cry?
What if?


Don't give up on me.
Not when there is so much I know I can do.
Don't stop believing that I'm trying.
Don't stop trying with me.


p/s : Cino is ill. I don't know what I can do to help. It's frustrating watching her like this.

"Why live life from dream to dream,
and dread the day when dreaming ends?"
-Satine

Facade

What is visible to one,
is merely a front being put up.
There's no telling what's real and what's not.
Because nothing is what it seems,
when there's more than meets the eye.

O, how hard rejection hits you when you bear expectations. It's challenging putting up a brave front for all the world to see. This is the time when no one is able to read how you really feel, because of this act you put on, this non-verbal lie you're telling others. You smile, barely, but still managing, while the people move away, thinking you're doing fine if not awesome. And this facade, it lives on.


"I don't care, I have no luck,
I don't miss you all that much."
-Torn, Natalie Imbruglia