Forks and Splits.

getting misunderstood and being put down.
getting cold shoulders and giving without getting anything back.
getting let down again and again and hoping to get something we can never have.

who isn't tired of all these things happening to every single one of us?
the only problem with us humans is that we have the ability to speak and think.
that is where all the problems start out from.

when we speak we sometimes say things that hurt others without us knowing.
when we whine we don't think about others who're in dire straits compared to ours.
when we think we tend to jump to conclusions and very often they start because of paranoia.
when we comment on others we tend to forget that we might not be all that perfect ourselves.
when we wonder we often think of the unbecomings, the impossible.

isn't it a waste of time to brood over things like that?
isn't it a waste of time to kill another person's self-esteem;
that requires so much to build up, just to be stepped upon merely by simple little acts like criticism?
why jump to conclusions when we just need to fix all the pieces together to get a full picture?
why why why?

i hate us humans for being this way. i hate myself for being this way.

you let me down, time and time again.
it's all a frown, it'll never be the same.

Churning Inside, Slowly Comsuming.

Bite me. For i do not feel well. I wish to get well soon. But taking the meds hasn't been helping.
I feel cranky. Fear me. RAWR!


i hate being sick.

Blindfold.

As though you were wearing a blindfold, you walk around feeling your way here and there.
Right behind you, i follow, silently steering you to the right path.
Can you hear me? Can you see me?
No, you just keep feeling your way, as though i were invisible.


i'd love to hate you.



i've recently discovered a frankie j song that has managed to stay on the top of my 'all-time fav songs' list. And might i add that i absolutely HEART it to death. =))

FRANKIE J
"Daddy's Little Girl"

[Verse 1:]
He drops his suitcase by the door
She knows her daddy won't be back anymore
She drags her feet across the floor
Tryna hold back time to keep him holding on
And she says

[Pre Chorus:]
Daddy Daddy don't leave
I'll do anything to keep you
Right here with me
Can't you see how much I need you

Daddy Daddy don't leave
Mommy's saying things she don't mean
She don't know what she's talking about
Somebody hear me out

[Chorus:]
Father listen
Tell him that he's got a home and he don't have to go
Father save him
I would do anything in return
I'll clean my room
Try hard in school
I'll be good
I promise you
Father, Father
I pray to you

[Verse 2:]
Now she hasn't slept in weeks
She don't want to close her eyes cause she's scared that he'll leave
They tried just about everything
It's getting harder now
For him to breathe
And she says

[Pre Chorus:]
Daddy Daddy don't leave
I'll do anything to keep you
Right here with me
Can't you see how much I need you

Daddy Daddy don't leave
The doctors are saying things they told me
They don't know what they talking about
Somebody hear me out

[Chorus:]
Father (father) listen (listen)
Tell him that he's got a home and he don't have to go (don't have to go)
Father (father) save him
I would do anything in return
I'll clean my room
Try hard in school
I'll be good
I promise you
Father, Father
I pray to you

[Hook:]
Please don't let him go (don't let him go)
I'm begging you so (I'm begging you so)
There open his eyes
There ain't no more time
To tell him that I love him more
The many thing in the world
Is Daddy's little girl

[Chorus:]
Father (father) listen (listen)
Tell him that he's got a home and he don't have to go (don't have to go)
Father (father) save him
I would do anything in return
I'll clean my room
Try hard in school
I'll be good
I promise you
Father, Father

She was Daddy's Little Girl
Mmmmm Oh




Oh, and good luck to all the form 3 and 5s for tomorrow's setara papers! you guys will do great cause i'll be praying for you guys and keeping my fingers crossed! huggies to 'one' and all! =))

Sparks Fly Past, Silently Consuming.

Cries ring in my ears, i look around to locate its source,
I turn around and i don't believe what i see, it's you, in remorse.




If tears come down as easy as the rain from the sky as we speak.


p/s: happy 10th month to wenli ! *huggies&<3*

Echoes. Hear 'em.

In the wee hours of the morning,


While some of us are still tucked in our beds,











There are some already up and about starting a new day.

Standing alone at the side of everything, i silently observe.

Among everything, i tend to notice the tiniest details.












I see doors that are open, but only to reveal another closed one inside.

















I see closed doors that are locked to the maximum, as though afraid that opening just a lil' might mean the end of the world.

















While some just seem a few steps away from getting to the top,

















Others just seem to make you go round and round in circles.

















Then there're those that just seem to go on and on and on.












But what matters the most are the trails we leave behind us and what we take with us, the lessons learnt. Is it not?
























Till the time comes for me to ponder and be vexed,

Walking Down Memory Lane

In Loving Memory Of My One & Only Dear Grandmama.











Thank you for bearing with my disgusting habits of teasing you and irritating you.
Always remember that i loved you and i still do from the bottom of my lil' heart.
With my utmost regret i apologize for the times when i was rude and when i acted as an insufferable know-it-all when all i did was hurt your feelings on the inside.
I sincerely wished there was something i could have done to treat you with better care respect and mostly, LOVE.
I miss you, Mama. Keep watching over us from heaven cause i know Lorraine saved you a place there. =))


I miss you too, Lorraine!
I will never ever forget the times we spent staying up all night while watching Von & Mama sleep silently while we watched 'whose line is it anyway?' till the break of dawn the next morning.
Help us through our daily lives and activities especially Mumsy & Papa cause all of us need all the help we can get.
We all miss you so don't even worry about us forgetting about you both and good-old grandad too. Although me & Von didn't get to meet him personally, i'm sure he'd have made a fine grandad. *grins*
Take care and God bless all of us for all time! =))





Forever keeping in mind the tiniest details you both added to my life,
rara =))

temporarily blinded

Sometimes we hurt others without knowing we do so.
Sometimes we stab each other's hearts with just a simple sentence.
Sometimes we irritate another's skin just like acid merely by thinking aloud.
Sometimes we drain the cheeriness out of people just by showing what we really feel inside.



Is it wrong for us to show others for who we really are?
Is it a mistake for us to tell another, just one other, our deepest thoughts and feelings?
Is it silly for us to turn to someone who nevers listens when there is another right behind you watching your back?
Is it plain stupidity for us to wait for an uncoming thing to happen for the rest of our lives?



Somehow we look for a certain someone to always be there when all things seem wrong.
Somehow we seek for definite answers, but have we ever wondered what our questions were?
Somehow we're challenged to mindless games that aren't worth paying attention to, but we treat it as though it would shake the world if we lost the battle.
Somehow we tire ourselves out, not knowing what's installed for us when the sun next rises to mark the arrival of a new day.



all for something we know nothing of to happen.

mistakes

When we were young, we all thought being grown-ups would mean being in control of things, being the BIG GUY, the BOSS of everything.
But now that i am slowly growing, i start to find that i am afraid of growing up.
I am afraid of taking charge, afraid of messing things up.


We learn from mistakes, do we not?


Why then, are there some who refuse to accept our apologies, who insist that they are being wronged, when they are the ones who are maligning others?
Why then, are there friends who fall out with each other at the snap of one's fingers just because they can't accept each other's flaws?
Why then, are there people who love to criticise when they are so-and-so themselves?
Why then, are there people who feel so empty when the slightest things they say or do make a whole lot of difference?


if only for everytime we cried, there would be thrice as much happiness in store after.
if only.

When we were young, we all thought being grown-ups would mean being in control of things, being the BIG GUY, the BOSS of everything.
But now that i am slowly growing, i start to find that i am afraid of growing up.
I am afraid of taking charge, afraid of messing things up.


We learn from mistakes, do we not?


Why then, are there some who refuse to accept our apologies, who insist that they are being wronged, when they are the ones who are maligning others?
Why then, are there friends who fall out with each other at the snap of one's fingers just because they can't accept each other's flaws?
Why then, are there people who love to criticise when they are so-and-so themselves?
Why then, are there people who feel so empty when the slightest things they say or do make a whole lot of difference?


if only for everytime we cried, there would be thrice as much happiness in store after.
if only.

showers

thought of the moment (TOM) : ribbons&pompoms



drip drip drip.
drops of water pattering against the roof i have above my head.


watching rain falling from the sky always give me a feeling that someone has just broken another's heart and the sky was crying for the one who got hurt.
things change, whether we like it or not.
they change for the better sometimes, but at others they turn out going wrong.
but at the end of the day, always keep in mind that no matter how wrong things are, there's always another bright side of it but we're just not looking at the real picture.
people dart in and out of our lives, ever since we were born, people we meet along the side of the road just dart in and zoom out. but one thing's for sure :

we're all part of each other, somehow connected. And even the slightest things we do could make a real big difference.




p/s : thank you wenli for the 'wet' outing and company as we braved went through the heavy rain and slight drizzles too. =))