I hate it that I'm receiving more than I seemed to have given. No, I'm not talking about receiving good stuff. I'd be a silly goat to think that because that's how we humans work. We want to take and take and take all the good stuff; leave the rest to the rest. I don't understand what's really going on as I thought the 'talking it over' part was, well, over.
Don't you hate it sometimes when you've apologized for your mistakes already and it's as though you hadn't at all?
I don't know how I really am to people anymore for now. And shit, although I know I've made a mistake even I myself feel it's unjust to make me feel like I haven't reflected and said sorry. The word 'shit' can't even begin to cover how I feel towards myself at this moment. I bet the next thing I'm gonna be accused of acting like I'm the victim. I have reasons as to why I do things a certain way, if an apology doesn't help make you feel better then what other shit do you want me to do this is really trying my patience and i really did apologize already gawd what else do you want from me ahhhhhhhhhhhhh
I have not cried for a while, and I refuse to. I refuse to give you the reaction you expect me to give you.
If this is all but a test, I have a feeling I might not pass it even.
Mayhap John Mayer will keep me distracted from my work of stupidity bah
New discovered fact about myself:
I don't use punctuations in my typed sentences when I'm upset.
"I'm never speaking up again; it only hurts me."
- My Stupid Mouth, John Mayer
1 comment:
Buddhism says that life is suffering. But no one in the right mind wakes up and says "I'm looking forward to suffering today". Maybe that means suffering will never cease, but we must at least strive for a balance that is indifference. For if we take pleasure in doing something, it may cause someone else to suffer. And maybe this means I should stop going around typing random things as comments.
Post a Comment