"Round and round we go once again.
Where does it go, is there an end?"
Happy Birthday Mama.
THE crazy big fat Mama who said 'If I were crazy, you are too!" for every time I called her that. I miss your silly sayings - "Kencing kencing kencing" when nature called; "Mama die then you know" when you wanted to have our sweets even though you were diabetic - when you were still around. Your coin-purse is still full with your coins, I can't bear the thought of using your money cause you always made me pay you back every last cent I borrowed from you. I wish I could put on your socks for you one last time before you went to sleep at night or even put on the marching gloves I used for school just so you wouldn't be cold like the day I last heard you call me.
No, I won't cry about the time I made you and Papa quarrel so bad that I thought either one of you wouldn't stay in the house anymore; I won't laugh about the times you and Uncle Black spoke about different things without even listening to the other talk; I won't giggle at your powder puff and your "Hwang Yew" medicated oil you used all the time; I won't miss smelling that weird smell that used to come out of your side of the cupboard we shared; I won't think about how you always asked Bishop James(at that time) to bless you whenever he said mass; I won't imagine running my hand through your curly white hair and how disgusting the way it was when you took off your dentures; I won't ask mummy for that old wedding photo of yourself and Gonggong you used to boast oh so proudly all the time to us that your grandfather owns a road in JB; I won't even start on the way your face lit up everytime you spoke about any of us as your grandchildren.
Where does it go, is there an end?"
Happy Birthday Mama.
THE crazy big fat Mama who said 'If I were crazy, you are too!" for every time I called her that. I miss your silly sayings - "Kencing kencing kencing" when nature called; "Mama die then you know" when you wanted to have our sweets even though you were diabetic - when you were still around. Your coin-purse is still full with your coins, I can't bear the thought of using your money cause you always made me pay you back every last cent I borrowed from you. I wish I could put on your socks for you one last time before you went to sleep at night or even put on the marching gloves I used for school just so you wouldn't be cold like the day I last heard you call me.
No, I won't cry about the time I made you and Papa quarrel so bad that I thought either one of you wouldn't stay in the house anymore; I won't laugh about the times you and Uncle Black spoke about different things without even listening to the other talk; I won't giggle at your powder puff and your "Hwang Yew" medicated oil you used all the time; I won't miss smelling that weird smell that used to come out of your side of the cupboard we shared; I won't think about how you always asked Bishop James(at that time) to bless you whenever he said mass; I won't imagine running my hand through your curly white hair and how disgusting the way it was when you took off your dentures; I won't ask mummy for that old wedding photo of yourself and Gonggong you used to boast oh so proudly all the time to us that your grandfather owns a road in JB; I won't even start on the way your face lit up everytime you spoke about any of us as your grandchildren.
None of all that, because you lived Mama. You lived. And for once I'd like for you to know that I'm darn well proud of you too. Rest well Mama, we love and miss you!
You describe me as a relaxed individual when you haven't even seen me get upset. I just hide it well that's all.
"I smile just because."
- John Mayer
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