A walk to remember.

When history repeats itself, I can't help but wonder sometimes :
What am I doing wrong?


He went away. Far away. And I might not see him ever again.
Why?
Because according to my belief and his, we're not going to the same place.
We'll definitely miss you. And I know you know so.

You were always assuring us about yourself, telling us not to worry.
And since you left, we've been going through both grief and happiness.
We grieve because you're no more, but we're happy cause you're happier wherever you are now.
And rest assured that we'll remember you and all that you've done for us, cause they're uncountable and all that has made us who we are.
Walking with you for the last time today was memorable, and I'll never ever forget it.
Because it was our last walk together. A walk to remember.

When Things Happen.

It's been pouring on and off for the past week. Before, I knew not why the rain fell, why the sky seemed so emotional. Not until last night.


Dear Uncle Black, the picture above says it all. If you do leave, we might die too. Not physically, but emotionally. There's already been two who left, I guess I just wouldn't be able to withstand another one. If it hurts, then please save yourself from pain.
Don't ever forget that we love you, for always.

For all else, we never seemed to need each other.
Just this much, I want to hold you, forever.

The Day's Eve.

To that little someone who seldom leaves my mind alone. =)


Sometimes when you start to find the world getting a little too crowded and you're thinking of shutting everything down just for a bit, there's just this person comforting you in your head : 'Hey, slow down. I'll walk with you.'


Then there were times when you wanted to protect this someone from anything with everything you had, every way you could.
Even when it was unnecessary.


At other times you felt that having this person around just made you feel a whole lot better, even when everything seemed to be putting you down.


Then you start questioning yourself : 'Am I supposed to feel such protectiveness towards another?'



The truth is, what we humans give and receive mostly comes from love.
In the process rather, we experience other feelings. Eg. Hurt.
And we know how much hell it would seem to us.
But at least when we look back at our scars and our wrongs, we might find ourselves thinking more rationally the next time we try to pull some other unwise move.

And maybe by then, there is a slight chance of us showing others how much more humanly we can get.

psst!
happy 15th to daphne lee, the lame-shyt-cum-xavier-laughing-partner girl from my dear mei's class.
happy 14th in advance to elyssa, the girl who smiles and cracks even when no one knows what's going on in her mind.

The camera clicks.

1 2 3 and *snap*.





There you were again. =)

To all you girls. My girls.

Let's just imagine.
If you thought I'd knew you'd count me in, and if I thought you'd know I'd count you in.
But we never told each other straight in the face that we really thought about the other already.
What does it make this situation?


Simple.
One big humongous friendship-killing misunderstanding.











This is the picture I would use to describe what we just went through.
We were thinking and working towards the same thing, but we just weren't aware of the other one's presence right on the other side.
I'm sorry for not being honest and hiding all this stuff from you.
I'm sorry that I made you feel bad.
I'm sorry that I cried over a group of people of which I care for a whole lot and love with all my heart.
I'm sorry that I hurt your feelings. All of you.


And I'm actually happy that we trashed things out and hurt each other with our usage of words.
Why?
Because at the end of the day, we found out that deep down inside,

We hurt because we care for each other.

I love every single one of you girls who have helped me grow in and through secondary school life.
I don't care if we're on the same side now or we've yet to cross over to join each other,
I appreciate you guys. *Group Hug!* =)

Remember when your exams were on the next day, yet there you were, seeded right in front of the tv, watching lame shows wondering how you'd score for that paper?

Remember when you had those family members under one roof and you never bothered noticing what they did for you everyday, but now that they're gone or not here you can't help but feel empty?

Remember when you gave up something that meant a lot to you for someone else, and yet it went unnoticed?

Remember when you laughed with tears in your eyes and when another asked you what was wrong, you could only give a watery smile and not stop crying?

Remember when others were having a hard time and there you were, at the sidelines laughing at their stupidity?




All this happens to one and all, doesn't it?

If only we knew when to give in and when to speak up.

If only we knew what to do at the right time.

One of the sanctuaries I always turn to.

Sometimes all we want to do stop listening.
Stop hearing all the different bloody hell annoying noises and sounds all around us.
We shut everything down. Our ownselves even.














It's times like these that I think of music.
I think of the sense of soothingness it gives me.
I think of the times when I felt like no one was paying attention to me, and there it was, for me.
I think of how I'd feel after singing along with some songs.
At times I grief, at times I cry, at times I scream, at times I laugh, and at times I just listen.
Of all the above, I prefer listening. Because I've learnt a lot just by being an observer for so long.


There are so many genres of music to choose from.
And I have never been bored out of music ever before.
So my suggestion for you the next time you're feeling depressedemomomomodamnscrewedup down, turn to music.



Or maybe i could help too. =)

A show of gratitude.

I_L_Y





For the memories that you've provided me with.
For everything you've ever bought me with your own money.
For all that you've done to change or affect me, both in little and huge ways.


Thank you mummy, papa, von, family, friends, loved ones, one and all.
I wouldn't be what I am now without anything you did and didn't do.
Thanks so much!
Even though things may seem wrong, look out for those who still care.


All of you make my day, even the bad things and pain you inflict on me helps me grow.
And with that, I learn bit by bit and maybe one day, I'll be the one helping other people. =)

With light comes shadows.

Scream.
Like you never tried before.
Because it's what makes us feel a whole lot better when we don't feel good.


Cry.
Like you never have before.
Because it's what makes us seem humanly.


Lose control.
Like you never wanted to.
Because it's what makes us learn from the mistakes we make.


Confront.
Those whom you feel uneasy towards.
Because it's what makes us tell it to someone else's face. well, to those who deserve it in this case.


Hurt.
Embrace the pain deep within you.
Because it's what makes us feel. It's what scars us. It scares us even.


Try.
As hard as you can.
And in the end, you might, you just might, get what you want in the end.




When all else goes wrong, think, look back.
And then maybe, just maybe, you'd see the light to the darkness swirling around you.

The Threesome.

Hi i'm Wenli.
I'm rotting now.

Hi i'm Sara.
I'm thinking of how awesome my accounts' paper was.

Hi i'm Sue Lynn.
I'm thinking of how equally awesome my accounts' paper was.


We were all commander's of our house marching teams and we've won as commander's during our time.
We had three balls each today as dessert.
Forgive us if that sounded wrong but Season's sure does make them good. :)
We terrorised City Square today and all who we meet along the way.
We is nuts whether you like or not.


P.S: We'll be back.


Visit Sue Lynn and Wenli!

More pictures.

The Squad.







From left : 'mr. crazy legs'-i can't remember his name, '1st flyer'-Li Yen, 'supporter'-Magdalene, '2nd flyer'-i can't remember her name either, 'supporter'-Stephanie, 'guy who educated us on jumps'-i can't remember his name too, 'guy in black at the back'-another cheerleader's name which slipped my mind, 'specky evil cheerleader dude'-i don't remember either but i remember him being nasty to us who cleaned up, and 'miss motions'-Rachel.










This is the Head-cheerleader of CHARM-all stars, Lim Chee Wei. [we think he's siwei's long-lost brother. ]












And edited by mercy.












Me and tracy. =))











Siwei dan saya. =))












Add it together and it's Siwei, Sara and Tracy!












This is random. Jessica and Sara on sports day '07.













Muggings are approaching. Time to hit the books and attempt to absorb fill my head with as much info as possible. 2 whole weeks of papers. Hurray. NOT.