Dear you,

Feel better.

Sincerely,

Me.

Wave (I)

I thought I had forgotten the sounds of a hospital ward but guess not, that memory of a frail looking hero I once knew lying on a hospital bed is still etched in my head. I thought I smelt your scent in the house today, but of course, there was nobody there. I can still hear you clear your throat the way you used to. I can still remember you.

爸爸，你最近还好吧?

eh got no tittle

JOHN's verbal diarrhea:

i dont know how to blog. im using one hand to type. i hope andrew comes before I forget what im suppose to remind Sara. So yeah. meh. meh. the puppy has kutu. like putu mayam. and gula melaka. k bai.

Things that annoy me #1

It's annoying that people make a certain face when you say something they don't really agree with or like.

Best part was, I caught that person during the act today.

Today

Messed up. Big time.

Now what?

What's left

You remember me right?

Remember when we went everywhere together? When we held each other's stuff, walked to places together, liked and disliked the same people.

You remember me right?

Remember when I talked back to you and mama stood up for me? When you two got into a big fight afterwards, and mama ended up crying in her room and I cried cause I was young and didn't know what to do.

You remember me right?

Remember when we used to play monopoly? When we used to play house, lay on each other's laps and stayed up late watching the telly hoping our parents never found out.

You remember me right?

Remember when you used to call me "Terminator"? When I was still the kid who ran around with hair growing towards the sky, chasing after you cause you called me names.

You remember me right?

Remember when I rang you up and asked if you were talking about me on the bus? When I thought you had a thing for me, and we had this long talk about that girl you're still in love with up till now.

You remember me right?

Remember when I asked if dad would ever cheat on you during that one night when there was a blackout? When I used to wake you up in the middle of the night just to follow me to the toilet cause I was worried a ghost would come and get me.

You remember me right?

Remember when I came to your place every Sunday for violin lessons? When once a wall lizard ran across my legs while I was playing my piece, and how you used to leave the nail clipper on the table cause you know I never trim my nails.

You'll remember me right?

As a girl who says things on her mind without much thought, as a girl who would approach people to strike up a conversation, as a girl who played many musical instruments, as a girl who was always single, as a girl who knew many people, as a girl who loved disagreeing and having healthy arguments with people.

You'll remember me. Right?

Letter #000

Dearest, why do you insist on keeping every single thing to yourself? It is as if you are a tightly closed shell, unwilling to even leave room for some air in to breathe. You live in your own head, running in circles until you exhaust yourself only to have a breakdown and then the cycle repeats itself. Has there been no one who has expressed concern toward you? Or has just experiencing the world made you conclude that nobody should be given a chance to enter your own realm of thoughts and feelings? It must be depressing, this horrible recording you keep going through over and over in that depressing place! This shell of yours, or some would call a wall, when will it ever be pierced through? You find joy but you do not share and you feel sorrow yet you will not let it show, when in truth joy is multiplied when shared and sorrow is lightened when we confide in another. It is difficult to live in such a way, is it not? Give yourself a chance, give others a chance, give your life a chance! Come join the rest of us as we struggle to learn to live and deal, to desire and to yearn.

Come, let us all feed off the rest of humanity.